Baby Envy

It is a good thing Pie² is in the oven, I'm telling you. Eisley keeps rubbing it in my face that she is not a baby anymore.

Today I was in my towel robe, post shower, putting on makeup - I heard a rattling noise coming from Eisley's room where she was playing. I immediately stopped applying mascara and went to check on her.

She was in her crib, rattling the side rails and looking very proud of herself. Most certainly because I didn't put her there, she had apparently climbed in by herself.

A little bit later she runs up to me, hands me her bottle, gets a firm grasp on my finger and pulls me to the kitchen. This is her newest trick, to pull mom or dad towards what she wants. She points to the sink. She wants me to wash and refill her empty bottle. I think, what happened to the days when she simply cried, and we had to guess if it was food/comfort/change that she needed? Now she tells me, in her own adorable way, exactly what she wants.

So I fill her bottle, taking my payment via a long, smoochy kiss on her cheek {which is less puffy than ever, might I add, as she is turning into a child and losing her baby fat} and then she's off once again.

She scampers down the hallway to her bedroom, points to her crib and says "nite-nite". Is my almost two year old telling me she's ready for her nap? But first, we direct mommy to close the blinds, of course.

And so now she is napping, and now that I have a moment of peace to think about it, I'm feeling more grateful than ever that Pie² is coming soon.

I'm so proud of Eisley & her toddlerhood achievements, but it is so bittersweet to see the infant fading. She needs me a little less each day. And this is a good thing, but I won't say I don't miss her being a helpless newborn. Of course I do.

These days she climbs in and out of the car by herself, sings along to songs she hears, yells at the dogs when they bark, and sometimes can even get her clothes on without help. She used to sleep soundly in her car seat through a grocery trip, now she insists on riding in the cars attached to the carts, and has a conniption fit if we pass the free cookies without stopping to get her one. At night she holds her baby doll up to us, so that we can kiss the baby and put her to bed as well, each time making me think, "This isn't my baby, Eisley, you're my baby. I want to rock you to sleep."

I marvel at Eisley but I also can't wait to have another little baby to snuggle and marvel at. In fact this was a big motivating fact when we decided to try for Pie², with Eisley growing more independent each day, I was growing severely jealous of other moms with new babies, and more impatient to have one of my own.

Even though Pie² will undoubtedly grow up on me, too.

But I'm not done being a mother to infants yet.