Violet's Birth Story

Well, folks, she's finally here.

Actually she's been here for 6 days now. The past 6 days have gone by like a swift breeze, a stark contrast to the slow weeks before when I would have sworn I was living my own hellish version of the movie Groundhog Day. Every day I woke up pregnant, for 16 entire days past my due date... longest days of my life.

Seeing as I was carrying the label of "gestational diabetic" {even though I still have serious doubts I really was a diabetic}, it's amazing my doctor "let" me go to 42 weeks. Most doctors insist on induction for GD moms at 38 weeks, as GD moms are at higher risk of having fat babies that get stuck in the birth canal. My doctor didn't bring up induction until I hit week 40, and we went so far as to schedule one at that point. But once the day arrived, I called and canceled. I had my heart set on going into labor naturally, along with a gut feeling that it wasn't time and I was also planning on a VBAC using the Hypnobirthing technique. Seeing as 40% of attempted VBACs are unsuccessful, however, I knew another c-section was a definite possibility.

Here is how Violet came to be:

Just kidding, that part is personal. Here is how she was born, 42 weeks later:

I'll spare you the grueling emotional rollercoaster of the weeks preceding her birth. I complained enough about that on Facebook, anyway. {Justin likes to refer to my recent moods as "hormotional".} I wonder how many people got sick of my whiny status updates and defriended me?

I went into labor on my own around 5am on Saturday the 19th! When I woke up that morning to the undeniable symptoms of early labor I literally did a happy dance. I was scheduled to be induced the very next night, at 42 weeks + 2 days, and had been panicking at the thought. Many might not think induction is so bad, but after weeks {months!} of research on natural birthing and the obvious benefits, I've learned just how tricky inductions can be and they are rarely free of complications and interventions.

Contractions came all day Saturday, getting stronger and closer together like they're supposed to, but very slowly. It wasn't until 8pm, after spending the day at my parents house which is minutes from the hospital, that I finally decided to call the doctor and see if I should head to the hospital. Contractions were 5-7 minutes apart, and getting more intense. I was using my Hypnobirthing techniques to keep myself relaxed and in very little pain, but it'd been about 13 hours since the onset of labor, I was eager to get things moving.

My doctor wasn't available that night, so instead I got a hold of the on-call doctor, "Dr. G". He was surprised to learn I was a VBAC {vaginal birth after cesarean} with {supposed} GD and had been "allowed" to go to 42 weeks. I explained to him that I really hadn't given my doctor a choice on the matter. {My recent research on natural birthing had made me feel all empowered! I believe women should educated them on the birthing process instead of walking into labor & delivery blindly trusting their doctor and allowing he/she to make all the choices. It is, after all, my body - my choice.}

Dr. G agreed it might be good for me to head to the hospital to see if Violet was descending and labor was progressing. If I was still in early labor, I could go home for the night.

I took my time, ate dinner, and tearfully said goodbye to Eisley. {Hormotional}. It was hard to leave her! I felt like I was abandoning her. We headed into the hospital around 10:30pm. I was torn between wanting to stay and wanting to go home. On one hand I hoped I would get there and be surprisingly advanced - maybe dilated to 5 or 6? Then I would be able to stay and look forward to the birth soon to come! On the other hand, I was going on 17 hours of labor at this point {albeit early labor} and was growing tired. The thought of going home and getting some sleep or taking a bath sounded really good.

I was one of only two women in labor & delivery when we got to the hospital. Unfortunately I was assigned to that nurse. The majority of the nurses in labor & delivery and also postpartum have been wonderful, in my previous experience. But there's always that one nurse you hear about. And just like last time with Eisley's birth, my first nurse was the one. Justin and I didn't like her at all. Just more reason to go home.

After 17 hours of labor & steady contractions, I was dilated to 1cm! The nurse tried to make a mountain out of a mole hill regarding one heart decel Violet had {tsk, tsk, using scare tactics on patients} and demanded I take a test to ensure my water hadn't broken {it hadn't}, but in the end I insisted on going home to get rest where I'd be more comfortable. Being only 1cm, it was obvious this might be a while.

She sure did take her time getting us discharged, especially considering I was one of two patients on the entire floor that night, but we finally left around 2:30 am.

By the time we got home, it was obvious labor was progressing at least some {I'd give more details, but it'd just gross you out}. My Hypnobirthing techniques had been serving me well up to that point, but now I was going on almost 24 full hours of zero sleep, so the relaxation and visualization techniques I'd been practicing for weeks were losing their effectiveness. The contractions were getting really strong, they were absolutely gripping at this point. I couldn't walk or move during them, nor could I talk other than select four-letter words. I'd been hoping that the 42+ week pregnancy meant I'd be rewarded with one of those fast labors, or at least one less than 12 hours like so many subsequent pregnancies end up with. Unfortunately mine was proving to be a long and difficult one, and I was starting to doubt my ability to go without drugs like I'd planned.

Unable to sleep with the contractions growing more intense, I got into the bathtub. I can certainly understand why so many women do water births! The warm bath served as a natural pain killer and probably cut the intensity of my contractions by 50%. Justin took the opportunity to nap on the couch, and I even enjoyed a glass of wine and just prayed that progress was being made. But all good baths grow cold eventually and by the time I was shivering I admitted to myself it was time to get out and see what happened next...

And what happened next was Justin & I in bed until 7am, him sleeping in four-minute increments and me clawing into his arm and moaning in four-minute increments. I'd given up on my Hypnobirthing techniques by this point, way too exhausted from 24+ hours of laboring to put in the concentration it took to put mind over matter and dull the pain. We knew, around 8:30am, that it was time to head back to the hospital - if not to hopefully give birth shortly, then to at least get some sort of pain relief.

If I was lucky enough to arrive at the hospital with advanced dilation, maybe 5cm or more?, then I would keep trucking, I decided. But if not, well, I'd decide when I got there...

I muttered a "few" expletives on the drive to the hospital.

When we parked I got out of the car and stood there for a couple minutes, shivering in the cold, unable to move until the contraction subsided. {I'm really not trying to be dramatic here, people, does this sound over-indulgent in the pity area? I'm just trying to tell it like it was...}

This time I arrived in labor & delivery they were busier, and I was blessed to be assigned a wonderful nurse! She was Irish, from Dublin, and she was wonderful and suited me perfectly. {Nurses may not seem like a big deal, but when you're dealing with a woman who is helping you manage the discomfort and seeing/touching parts of your body even you aren't familiar with - to me their personality can make all the difference.}

I had been hoping for more progress, but at this point I was 3cm & 70% effaced. At least it was something. But seeing as labor was now approaching 30 hours and it seemed I had miles to go, when she mentioned my natural birth plan I started to cave. Who knew how many more hours I'd be in labor? And I realized I wouldn't do so well without rest, so the epidural was starting to look really appealing at this point, despite the fact that I'd so hoped to avoid it. If I knew at that point that it'd only be a few more hours, I'd like to think I would have pushed through. But I had no way of knowing how much longer it'd be, so I caved. I needed rest!

My wonderful Irish nurse, who started out her career as a certified nurse midwife, was so reassuring at this point. She'd done a natural birth herself, but also one with an epidural, she knew what I was going through at that moment and praised me for going that far - which in my hormotional state was so lovely to hear from someone at that point, bless her.

I forgot to mention - the most significant factor regarding my slow going labor at this point: Violet was not descending, she was still at a -3/-2 station {about as high as they can be}. This was exactly like Eisley's birth had gone, 18 hours of labor/failed induction she hadn't descended, which resulted in a c-section...

Now close to 30 hours of real labor - without any descent on the baby's part... not boding well for a VBAC.

I was surprised that the anesthesiologist came very shortly after I arrived, and the relief was oh so sweet. For the first time in well over a day, I could truly rest while my body kept laboring. The epidural, while not ideal for those who prefer natural, is still a wonderful invention. Contractions were coming stronger than ever, regularly 2-3 minutes apart and strong on the monitor. These were baby-having contractions, Irish nurse assured me. Hopefully they'd produce some progress soon.

Dr. G arrived shortly after the epidural, confirmed the slow progress and Violet's high station, and also discovered that my water had broken at some point. {I'm guessing when I was in the bath?}

I liked Dr. G, even though he wasn't willing to offer me much hope. "I'll be honest, if you can manage a VBAC at this point I'll be impressed." He was right, my labor was way off the curve, as he put it. 30+ hours with this little progression, specifically Violet's station, and considering I was a VBAC with GD and a previous failed induction, the odds were stacked very high against me by this point.

But since Violet was doing so well and I was now resting comfortably, we decided to see if the epidural helped relax me enough to produce some progress and gave it a few more hours. Dr. G could have given me pitocin to produce stronger contractions in hopes of forcing Violet down, but I was pleased that he wasn't thrilled with the idea since I had a uterine scar that could possibly rupture with such strong drug-induced contractions. {I am NOT a fan of pitocin, having done research on it.}

There are several possible reasons why Violet {and Eisley} did not want to descend, we're just not sure what exactly what prevented it. With both births now the doctors liked to think I was going to have huge babies. Eisley was estimated to weigh 9 lbs with a huge head before I gave birth {she was a mere 6 pounder with a little head} and the doctors assumed with Violet since I had {borderline!} GD & went to 42 weeks that she would be enormous. Dr. G said at one point, "If we do a c-section and she's a 9 pounder I'll be saying 'You're welcome!'" He was obviously concerned about the fact that I was a GD patient at 42 weeks... even though I wasn't.

But despite my lack of concern that Violet was large {I never thought she really was}, when 1:45pm rolled around - Sunday the 20th - and I was still at 3cm with Violet as high up as she could be, I seriously began to think c-section. Dr. G was not at all pushy, since Violet was still doing great considering my strong contractions. Both he & Irish nurse expressed their doubts on my ability to have a successful VBAC at this point, but they were willing to allow me to keep going. This was the same point I had reached with Eisley two and a half years ago. Ultimately, I made the decision. C-section it would be.

After 42 weeks, 2 days {I know, I know, I keep saying this - but seriously} and now 34 hours of labor and no sleep - I WAS READY TO MEET MY BABY!

Just like last time, I coped by going over the positives in my head. It wasn't as I'd planned, but focusing on things to be thankful for keeps us from getting bitter - that is what I believe, even though I don't always practice it.

First, I wouldn't re-break my tailbone which was broken towards my birth canal years ago after a fall from a horse {and now, 6 days post-birth, having spent hours on my butt recovering & nursing Violet, I've already experienced enough discomfort with my healed tailbone to be very thankful it's not re-broken from a vaginal birth. The doctor who'd x-rayed my tailbone years ago had warned me I'd break it again when I gave birth. The breastfeeding would just not be happening if it had, it already gives me discomfort as it is.}

Second, I already have the "battle wounds" from a previous c-section. Subsequent c-sections are notoriously easier to recover from, as they go through the scar tissue from before. It is possibly quite a good thing to not have "battle wounds" from a vaginal birth as well. Better one or the other than both, I suppose. Rumor has it you can suffer all sorts of unpleasantness such as incontinence, etc., after giving birth vaginally.

Finally, despite it being a major surgery with longer recovery, there are some added benefits to the cesarean. I'll leave it at that, but being a veteran of two now, I have to say they're not all that bad in more ways than one. Not the end of the world. Many women even ask for c-sections these days. I had hoped to do it the way God intended, but I prayed and it was not so. There must be a good reason.

I'm just blessed to have two beautiful daughters now after two successful pregnancies.

And so around 3pm on Sunday the 20th of February, I was prepped for surgery. This time around I wasn't even nervous! I knew I'd finally have my baby in my arms and I was looking forward to the 42 weeks, 2 days, and 34 hours of labor to be OVER. Once and for all.

Violet was born at 3:55pm.

She weighed a whopping 7 lbs 13 oz {haha! Take THAT doctors who tried to scare me with the "Your baby is going to be HUGE because you [supposedly] have GD and are at 42 weeks!!!" Obviously I'd been right to follow my gut. She might not have fared as well had I allowed them to induce me at the standard 38 weeks for GD patients. Momma knows best!}

Her apgar score was 8/9 - perfect for Colorado.

I would detail the birth itself, but this post is already entirely too long, AND why tell you when I can show you???

Within the next couple days here I'll be posting the video Justin took of the c-section & Violet's birth! Don't worry, it's not at all graphic {except for the part where Violet pooped herself}.

Until then, please enjoy some pictures of Violet's first days. We love her!!! What a treasure God has sent us. Again.

Our family of FOUR!
{Woo! I am seriously puffed up. Ya'll should SEE my post-cesarean cankles. Frightening.}
Another tiny finger this poor guy is suddenly wrapped around.
Don't forget to leave a comment at the end of this post! No account needed.
Do you think she looks like Eisley?
Ready to go home after three nights in the hospital.

Come back soon to see the video of Violet's birth!

Eisley's Birth Story!

This is a super long and detailed birth story, so consider this your warning. Pictures are at the end!

She's here! Eisley Kathryn made it safe and sound into the world at 5.07pm on August 8, 2008. (What a cool birthdate huh?)She was 6 lbs & 14 ounces and 19.5 inches long, not exactly the "porker" we were expecting!

So, you might want to read the previous two posts here to see what got the ball rolling...

We (after much mental debate on Heather's part)checked into the hospital on Thursday night around 7.30pm to get an induction rolling. I was really flipped out that I was the one making the decision, as my doctor was willing to wait until next week. But due to personal issues, and job scheduling, I was having a lot of anxiety over waiting much longer. It could have meant that Justin wouldn't get much recovery time with the baby and I. After weighing our options and much thought over the health issues (doctor was worried about preeclampsia and the excess amniotic fluid I had) we had decided to bite the bullet and go for it. We also recruited many prayers on my behalf, to help us avoid a csection.

So after checking in they started the drugs to "ripen" my cervix, which would make it easier to dilate, and also cause contractions. They were hoping this would cause her to drop, which would make the labor a lot more successful!

But by 8am, after 3 doses of the cervix meds and no progress (still 1 cm & 50% effaced and no signs of dropping whatsoever) they decided to give me one more dose and see if I made any progress by noon. At this point I was having mild to medium contractions brought on my the cervix ripening drugs, and thinking hard about the possibility of a cesarean.

Well, around 1pm they re-checked me. Absolutely no progress. The doctor also mentioned how my pelvic bone felt slightly different than the average woman's, which could prevent the baby from dropping and fitting through the birth canal. I mentioned to him how I had also broken my tail bone a few years ago, and now it's crooked like a finger. When I'd had those xrays, the doctor had informed me that when I someday gave birth, the birth process would probably break the tail bone back into it's original position. I was never looking forward to this aspect of giving birth, since when I had broken my tail bone the first time it took almost 3 months before I could sit without a donut...

My doctor said this *could* be a contributing factor of her not dropping, and it will also make my recovery from a vaginal birth much longer and painful. But he was willing to give it a little more push, and start pitocin to try and get some stronger contractions in hope of moving little Eisley down the birth canal.

They couldn't break my water because since Eisley hadn't dropped and I had so much excess amniotic fluid, it could be very dangerous. The cord could come spilling out before the baby (since her head wasn't plugging the exit) and that would mean an emergency csection!

He offered for me to go home, wait over the weekend and see if I made any more progress. This was not appealing to me. Eisley was simply NOT going to move. Stubborn little thing...

So, of course, the final option was a cesarean. The dreaded Big C! Suddenly, it wasn't looking all *that* bad to me anymore. I was having serious doubts that she'd make any progress on her own. Drugs like pitocin can increase your risks of having an emergency csection, and I began to accept the inevitable.

I got very emotional as I started to realize my hopes for a vaginal delivery were walking out the door. Of course my doctor was giving me the choice, I could have still pushed for the vaginal delivery. But a gut feeling told me that it wasn't going to happen. I talked and cried a bit with my mom, sister, and of course Eisley's DAD! Everyone was in full support, and I was beginning to see the positives of choosing the csection:

* no episiotomy
* longer stay at hospital (which I'm told I'll be thankful for)
* my hemorrhoids get to keep healing
* those dreaded cervical exams stop
* no long labor and no real major contractions
* not breaking my tailbone
* not risking hurting Eisley by trying to fit her round peg head through my square hole with strong drug induced contractions, so to speak
* knowing she'd be born in hours, rather than waiting out a labor that could take days only to end in csection anyway

So we made the decision, and were scheduled for 5pm! I actually began feeling really good about my decision. I was emotional, but I was also confident that this was a good thing.

So 4.15pm rolled around and I had a fresh face of makeup, so they started to prep me for surgery. !!! Before I knew it I was walking back to the OR to be sliced open while awake... I was beginning to seriously contemplate running my bare behind through the exit doors.

But for some reason, I kept walking. Into the OR, I sat on the operating table and was given a spinal (a really strong, effective epidural like procedure that is given in one quick shot). My wonderful OB held my hand through the spinal, which was a bit scary. Before the anesthesiologist was even done, I could feel my feet turning into heavy, tingling mush. I was then laid on my back and prepped for surgery.

Justin, sporting scrubs and looking very Grey's Anatomy, made his entrance to sit by my head. A screen was placed at my shoulder level so that I couldn't see the butchering of my abdomen, which I was very thankful for! Justin was teary and I was just going into my "dealing with panic" mode by closing my eyes and trying to think I wasn't in an OR about to have a person removed from my body whilst I was awake. Justin later told me I looked very calm. Ha!

At 5.00pm on the dot they made the first incision. Suddenly I was trying to forget every csection episode of Maternity Ward or A Baby Story. I didn't want to think about my stomach being open, and me here awake.

The feeling was indescribable. My body from my chest down was completely numb, but I could feel people touching me. So I literally was feeling them cut me open, play feng shui with my organs, and removing Eisley. But I just couldn't feel the pain.

The doctors and nurses all laughed in shock when they broke my bag. Supposedly it was even more water than they had anticipated (and they already knew it was a lot) and I set off like Old Faithful.

They warned us the moment was coming, but there can be no preparation for that moment when they pull the baby out of you and she starts crying. At 5.07pm, Eisley was born!

The doctor made my day when he said this was absolutely a great descision for her birth. Eisley's cord was wrapped twice around her neck and she was higher than he had realized. They had to use a vacuum to get her out! My baby loved "Hotel Heather" as my mom affectionately called it. I was so glad I didn't sugger long hours of labor just to be told that a csection was the only way.

She was taken to my right where a warming station was waiting and they cleaned her up, checked her vitals, etc. Justin was very teary and happy and emotional. I was in a state of shock. Are you sure that I was really pregnant? Did that baby seriously just come out of me? Meanwhile, I'm hearing how cute she is, about her blonde hair, and how great she looks. She stopped crying rather quickly. The nurses said she was very calm and easy going.

Then came the best part, while laying on an operating table with my reproductive organs being worked on, I got to hold my little girl! They actually let me hold her. I was in awe of her perfect face, and she was moaning daintily and happily. All I could do was look at her little face and think... "Really??"

Unfortunately, Eisley couldn't keep me company in the OR, and she headed to the nursery with her daddy to be given a thorough check and vital stats checked. Once they were out of the room, it became hard to believe again that this was all really happening. I waited and listened to the doctors and nurses chat while feeling lots of pulling and tugging on my body as they sewed me up.

At 5.33pm, I was on my way to the recovery room. Everyone said I did great and the baby was perfect. Suddenly, the c-section seemed like a great idea and I was so glad. It was all over!

I rested in the recovery room for about 30 minutes, it went by fast and they monitored how my body was handling the spinal and morphine and other drugs they'd loaded me up with. I felt great! But I was really anxious to hold my baby again.

My mom, sister, and dad all beat the baby to the room. It was good to see friendly faces. I'd made it out alive. Not more than 10 minutes later, daddy and Eisley joined us. She looked great! Her Apgar score was a 8/9, which is wonderful for Colorado. Nothing else in the world mattered except that precious little baby all of a sudden.

In another 10 minutes, I was holding Eisley as we were pushed through the halls to our post-partum room. Justin's parents, Aunt Katie, Aunt Britta, and my parents all joined us. Eisley was incredibly calm and happy as she was passed around, meeting her family and loved ones.

And so now we're resting. Eisley is teasing us by being a very happy, calm baby. I'm realistic to the fact that this very well might not last. But so far she's happily endured diaper changes, feedings, and being next to other baby's crying - all without a peep. Noises and changes don't bother her in the slightest. We're in awe of what a good baby she is, and enjoying the peace while it lasts.

We think she's a doll and are completely smitten with her. In the end, the csection ended up being awesome. I'm in very little/no pain and discomfort and I'm so happy that my nether-regions are in tact and unharmed. It's bee such a pleasant experience. God has blessed us so much, it's downright embarassing. Words cannot describe the joy we feel in our hearts.

Here's our daughter:

I'll for sure post more ASAP!

Complications...

The possibility of a cesarean is looking more and more... possible. They've given me 4 doses of cervical "ripening" medication, but as of the last time they checked, my cervix is just not budging. Eisley hasn't dropped at ALL, so they can't break my water, because I have so much water if they broke it, the cord could start to come out and prolapse. That would mean an emergency csection to prevent her from suffering any brain damage.

They're going to check at 12pm to see if I've made any more progress. They might start pitocin at that point, in hopes that the stronger contractions (cause I'm already having mild ones) could move her head down just enough to remove the risk of cord prolapse so they could break my water. If after starting the pitocin and letting my contractions get pretty strong, if nothing happens, it's looking like I'm destined for a csection.

Oh well! We'll just have to see how it goes.

As annoying as a csection would be (recovery wise, and major surgery), I can see the benefits. I get to keep my vagina in tact, thats a plus. Only time will tell...

At the hospital

So in case you've missed the excitement...

At my appointment yesterday my bloodpressure was still higher, they also said my bloodwork from last week came back not great, and the ultrasound showed that Eisley's just getting bigger and bigger. So, in his words, he'd "like to see me not pregnant soon". He was actually surprised that Dr. Watson didn't set a date last week. According to him, if I let this go much longer, they would probably end up having to put me on meds to control high BP and other issues.

So he asked me if I would like to set a date in the next week. He offered to let me go yesterday or next week after the weekend. Because of schedule issues, and after talking it over, Justin and I decided tonight would be a good time to get the ball rolling.

I have so many mixed feelings about this. Eisley hasn't dropped yet (maybe because of excess amniotic fluid, said the doc) and I'm 1cm dilated still, also 50% effaced now. She's showing no signs of budging, and her head is already measuring around 41 weeks!

But being induced and the fact that she hasn't dropped does raise my chances of a csection significantly. It can be done vaginally, but it's more of a 50/50 chance. But here I am at the hospital anyway. Please pray for me (if you read this in time) that I don't end up needing a csection. I'm not scared of one, I just really really want to do this the old fashioned way SOOO bad.

But, what happens happens. You can hear lots of horror stories about inductions, hopefully mine is one of the good ones. Maybe because I'm worried about "the worst" will make it a breeze. Maybe.

So wish me luck! And pray for me. I'll try and be updating this as often as I can throughout this adventure...